One year before starting school – what children (and parents) really need now

The last year of nursery often feels like a countdown. Suddenly, everyone is talking about ‘preschool’, school readiness, concentration, fine motor skills and whether your own child is ‘ready’. Between well-meaning advice, comparative discussions on the playground and advertisements for workbooks, you quickly get the feeling that now is the time to start preparing. Now we have to do something.

But what if the key isn’t practising at all? What if this year is less of a training camp and more of a phase of inner growth? Modern developmental psychology perspectives show that a year before starting school, it’s not about anticipating content. It’s about strengthening children emotionally, socially and personally. And supporting parents in maintaining confidence in their development.

School readiness is a developmental process

“School readiness” sounds as if there were a list that needs to be ticked off. In fact, it is not a state that can be created, but rather a process that is fed by many experiences. Children do not develop at the same rate. Some are interested in letters at an early age, others in numbers, and still others in role-playing or physical activity. Development proceeds in waves – with leaps, pauses and detours.

A child is not well prepared simply because they can write their name. What matters more is whether they have confidence in themselves. Whether they can cope with minor setbacks. Whether they can find their place in a group. School is not just about learning at a desk. School means new relationships, new structures, new expectations. Those who have learned to deal with uncertainty have a solid foundation.

Emotional security as a foundation

Before children learn to read or do arithmetic, they need a stable inner foundation. A feeling of security. A schoolchild must be able to leave home in the morning with the inner conviction: “I can do this. And if not, someone will be there to help me.”

This trust does not come from worksheets, but from relationships. From adults who listen. Who take their feelings seriously. Who accompany them without immediately judging them. Especially in their last year of nursery, many children have big questions: What happens at school? Will I make friends? Is the teacher strict? Will I be able to do it? When we give these questions space, when we don’t downplay fears but look at them together, emotional stability grows. And it is precisely this stability that will carry you through challenging moments later on.

Self-efficacy instead of pressure to perform

A key component for a successful start to school is experiencing self-efficacy. Children need to experience: “I can do something.”

It starts in everyday life. When they are allowed to dress themselves, even if it takes longer. When they help set the table. When they take on small tasks independently. When conflicts are not immediately resolved, but accompanied. Self-efficacy does not come from perfection, but from participation.

In the final year of nursery school, it is more valuable to entrust a child with responsibility in everyday life than to trace letters with them. Children who experience the effects of their own actions develop inner strength – and this is precisely what is crucial for school.

Playing is learning

The idea that learning only begins at a desk still persists. Yet free play is one of the most complex forms of learning there is. When children engage in role-play, they practise changing perspectives and empathy. When building, they learn about quantities, stability and problem solving. When negotiating rules, they learn social dynamics. Free play trains perseverance, creativity and frustration tolerance – without any external pressure.

One year before starting school, children therefore need time above all else. Time for independent play, for their own ideas, for exercise, for discovery. It is during these moments that key skills for school are developed – quite incidentally.

Language grows through dialogue

Linguistic confidence is an important foundation for learning at school. However, it does not come from writing letters at an early age, but from relationships and interaction. Children who are talked to a lot, who are allowed to talk, who can ask questions and who are taken seriously develop a solid understanding of language.

Reading aloud, making up stories together, talking about experiences or naming feelings – all of these things strengthen language skills more effectively than any preschool workbook. Those who can put their thoughts into words will find it easier to access texts later on. Language is the key – but it grows in everyday life.

Movement, regulation and concentration

Many parents worry about their child’s ability to concentrate. However, concentration does not come from sitting still at an early age. Children need exercise to learn to regulate themselves. They need to climb, balance, run and jump. Physical experience creates inner stability, and movement connects the brain. An afternoon in the woods or at the playground often lays a better foundation for later learning processes than structured exercises at a table.

Concentration increases when children are intrinsically motivated – when they are interested in something and feel emotionally secure.

Learning to cope with frustration

At school, children will learn that not everything works out right away. A year before starting school, it is therefore particularly valuable to encourage a healthy approach to frustration. When something is difficult, children do not need a quick solution, but support.

The phrase “This is difficult right now, I’ll stay with you” has a stronger effect than rushing in to help. This teaches children that failure is not a sign of incompetence. It is part of development. Being tolerant of mistakes is an attitude that extends far beyond primary school.

Parents also face a transition

Starting school changes not only children’s everyday lives. Parents also enter a new phase. Structures change, expectations grow, and comparative discussions increase. Between pride and uncertainty, the question quickly arises: Have I prepared my child well enough?

A change of perspective can help here. School is not a competition where only the best prepared succeed. It is a place of learning. Children do not have to be able to do everything when they start. They are allowed to learn. And they are allowed to make mistakes. What they need are adults who trust them – and themselves.

If questions remain: Accept support

Despite all the calmness, there are situations in which parents feel uncertain. Perhaps there are developmental peculiarities. Perhaps there are questions about concentration, language development or initial learning difficulties. Perhaps the decision for a suitable school is pending or the topic of inclusion becomes relevant. Especially in this transitional phase, it can be a relief not to be alone.

Viva FamilienService supports employees of cooperating companies with advice on child development stages, learning support, possible learning difficulties, inclusion at school and school choice, among other things. Questions about organising everyday family life or balancing work and family life in this new phase of life can also be discussed together. The aim is not to put pressure on people, but to provide guidance. Individual, confidential and relevant to everyday life.

Trust as the most important preparation

A year before starting school, it is not about optimising children. It is about strengthening their personalities. Secure attachment, self-efficacy, play, exercise, everyday language and a constructive approach to mistakes form a stable foundation.

And perhaps that is the best preparation for school: a child who trusts themselves. And parents who give that trust space to grow.

Note: Parents can also find inspiration for attachment- and strength-oriented support on Instagram on accounts such as Caroline von St. Ange at @learnlearningwithcaroline, Saskia Niechzial at @liniert.kariert or Lisa Reinheimer at @klassenheld – with lots of everyday ideas for learning and development.