Parents as role models for their children – teaching values and norms
Children do not learn from lectures, but from what they see every day. Parents are the first and most important role models in their children’s lives. They therefore have a decisive influence on the values and norms that children develop. Whether it is respect, helpfulness, honesty or responsibility: children orient themselves towards what their parents exemplify.
But how can values be successfully conveyed in everyday parenting? And how can parents fulfil their role as role models despite stress and work commitments?
Parents as role models: why setting an example has a greater impact than words
Psychological studies show that children learn best by imitation. They observe closely how adults behave – and adopt this behaviour themselves. This means that parents convey values not through long explanations, but through their everyday actions.
Examples of role models in everyday family life:
- A friendly ‘thank you’ at the supermarket checkout.
- Calmness in traffic.
- A willingness to stand up for others.
This teaches children early on which norms and values are important in living together.
Values and norms – the compass for children
Values are inner convictions such as honesty, tolerance or helpfulness.
Norms are the rules that are derived from these values, for example: ‘We say please and thank you’ or ‘We stick to agreements’.
Parents who consistently exemplify values provide their children with a secure framework. Teaching values in this way helps children to find their bearings and make their own decisions.
What values should parents particularly exemplify today?
The world has become more diverse and complex. This makes it all the more important to teach children values that give them stability. The following are particularly important today:
- Respect: Treating all people equally – regardless of their origin, religion or lifestyle.
- Empathy: Recognising and taking others’ feelings seriously.
- Responsibility: Taking responsibility for one’s own actions and considering the environment and community.
- Self-confidence: Recognising one’s own strengths while remaining considerate.
- Teamwork: Cooperating rather than acting selfishly.
These values prepare children to navigate their way through school, work and society.
Teaching values in everyday life: practical tips for parents
Parents often wonder how they can teach their children values and norms in concrete terms. Here are a few approaches that can be used in everyday life:
- Maintain rituals: Family rituals such as eating together or reading aloud in the evening provide opportunities for discussions about values.
- Have conversations: Children ask a lot of questions. Take them seriously and explain why certain values are important.
- Assign responsibilities: Small tasks such as setting the table or caring for a pet teach a sense of responsibility.
- Show diversity: Through books, travel or encounters with other families, children learn openness and tolerance.
- Admit mistakes: Parents who can apologise are credible role models. This teaches children that mistakes are human and that how we deal with them is what matters.
The role of parents between work and family
Many parents struggle to balance work and family life. Time is scarce, and it is not always possible to be patient or consistent. But children do not need perfect parents. It is much more important for parents to be authentic and show that they are doing their best.
Even small gestures – a chat in the evening, breakfast together – can convey more values than long but inattentive time spent side by side.
Digital role models: teaching values in the age of smartphones and other devices
A current topic is media use. Children pay close attention to how their parents use smartphones, laptops and social media. If you are constantly looking at your mobile phone, you are unconsciously signalling that the device is more important than the conversation.
Questions for parents:
- Am I present when my child talks to me?
- How do I deal with digital breaks myself?
- What rules do I want to set for the family?
This way, parents can also be credible role models in the digital realm.
Support for parents: exchange and counselling
Parents sometimes wonder whether they are teaching their children the right values. It is normal to feel uncertain. Talking to other families or seeking support from experts can help.
The Viva FamilienService supports employees of our partner companies with all questions relating to work-life balance. This includes ideas for teaching values in parenting and offers for parent groups such as ‘Viva im Gespräch’.
Conclusion: Parents shape values for life
Parents are their children’s first and most important role models. They convey values and norms not through words, but through their daily actions. Those who live with respect, empathy and responsibility give their children the best compass for life.
The good news is that children do not need perfect parents. They need authentic people who exemplify their values, admit their mistakes and show them how to live responsibly.
Are you looking for tips on how to empower your children and teach them values in everyday life? Then find out more about our parent groups ‘Viva im Gespräch’ – a place for exchange and practical support.